Love Your Parents More While They’re Still Alive…

When I was a kid growing up in Ibadan, any time I left the house, my father said the same thing, “Remember you’re IYIOLA.” His meaning was clear. “As you go, so goes our family’s reputation. Guard it!”

Any time I stepped out through the door to school, to a friend’s house, or even Amala joint, that one sentence would remind me that my father expects me to remember who I am – and whose I am – and to act accordingly. To remember that everything I did, every decision I made, every word I uttered was a reflection of him, my mother, and the rest of the family. For me, it was a point well taken.

More than once in my adult life, when I was tempted to do something reckless (and worry about the consequences later), I’d hear my daddy’s words, “Remember you’re IYIOLA.” It was like having him there, looking over my shoulder, not waiting to reprimand me if I made the wrong choice, but expecting to be proud of me when I made the right one.

These days, as I walk out into the world to go to work, go to the grocery store, to volunteer at community events, or to head somewhere else, I need to remember that the things I say and do, the decisions I make, and the words I utter represent or harmonize with what my father would have liked or wanted. Pretty big responsibility, abi?

Though I lost my dad 26 years ago, I still love my dad even in death. I had a great time with him. But make no mistake, I had a proper respect for (Dad didn’t bring us up to fear him but to respect him) him when I needed to. He gave me a good start in life; the values that have driven me, and the confidence to believe in myself. At my age now (don’t ask me… lol), with two active and adorable kids of my own, I still need a dad I can both love and respect as much as I ever have.

Now, I have the privilege to have my mum living with me… She prays for me every morning and every evening as most Yoruba mothers would do. They are all Iya Aladuras… lol. She eulogizes me, chanting my family panegyrics (ORIKI) every morning and that always gets my head to swell. May God keep my mama safe, alive and healthier for me (Amin).

The crux of this epistle? Parents gave you life. No matter what has happened between you and your parents, you have to appreciate them. Show that you love them and spend more time with them while you still have this chance. Ask yourself: Do you appreciate your parents? What do you do to show them your love and appreciation? Tell your parents about your job and relationship. Share your happiness with them and ask something you can’t understand as they are more experienced and maybe they can help you where you don`t know what to do.

So, let’s make a prayer that God blesses all parents, past and present with Paradise, because no one deserves it more than they do. May God grant us the patience to deal patiently with them in their old age as they dealt patiently with us when we were small and young. May God always bless them and reward them for loving and protecting us (Amin).

Thank you for reading my epistle…